My HOPE for individuals and families in 2022

My HOPE for individuals and families in 2022

My HOPE for individuals and families in 2022

mowing grass with dad

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”

— Margaret Mead

 

As we reflect on 2021 and think about what we want for the new year ahead, I thought that it would be beneficial to share what I see families are missing, and might consider starting now and continuing into 2022.

Care for ourselves and others. Let’s all agree that we should move from being a spectator to being an active player. Recent headlines reflect our youth need us to show up for them unfortunately some of us are missing the boat. Begin by taking care of yourself. You can start with simple tasks like walking and/or drinking more water. 

We need to care for others by volunteering within our own neighborhoods.  It’s been my personal experience many public libraries need volunteers, or maybe you can donate to your local food bank. We need everyone to be involved in changing the landscape of what is around us.

The Success Sequence provides an outline of how to reverse the cycle of poverty in our communities. GCO uses this as a framework for much of our work.

Community makes us stronger

Community. When our family relationships are stronger our community is better and our state is better. Change always starts with us. 

For example, have you ever noticed when people first move into a new neighborhood they make the effort to keep their lawns manicured?  But then, it never fails there is THAT one house whose yard is in disarray. That house can make the value of all the other homes lower because it is not well kept. However, instead of complaining about the neighbor’s inadequacies, see how you can help. Is there a young person who can mow the lawn?  This is beneficial because you are teaching a child how to help others and the neighbor gets their lawn mowed. Now the neighbor and teen are connected into the community. Plus, the neighborhood is more aesthetically pleasing to the eye, which brings home values back to where they should be. Everyone wins! Being a part of a community makes us feel as though we are a part of something greater than ourselves. 

Collaboration. Think about how you can add value to a local organization utilizing your gifts and talents. Believe it or not, this is why you were given your gifts!

At Georgia Center for Opportunity, we collaborate with a community of folks in the areas of education, employment, and family. Read more about our work and how its Not for self but for others” at georgiaopportunity.org.

 

Still celebrating my father!

Still celebrating my father!

Still celebrating my father!

A celebration of fathers.

Since Father’s Day is upon us, I am sure many of you are thinking about the presence or lack thereof your father in your life.  Hopefully some of you are thinking about the father that you are or want to become. No matter where you land, take it from an adult woman in her 50s that my dad still plays an important role in my life. He has long gone from this world—he passed in July 1997—but he impacts my decisions daily. He was an impact in my dating decisions, in my choice of who I married, and his influence continues to this day to guide me.

I am sure I sound like a daddy’s girl—and for the record I am! No one had a dad more special than mine. My dad was the type of man everyone loved. Whenever you asked him how he was doing, he would yell out “MAGNIFICENT!” I am the youngest of three girls. Everyone knew that I was his favorite. We both were the youngest of our siblings so we had a special bond. It wasn’t that my dad was a huge talker—in fact he was quite low key. However, he taught us a lot by his actions. He was a hard worker, he went to church regularly, and he was an entrepreneur.   He loved Christmas and loved family. It is no coincidence that I married a man that is a lot like him and is also a great dad too!

 

A family sitting on the floor together

FROM THE BLOG

ORIGINS OF THE GEORGIA CENTER FOR OPPORTUNITY

WHY WE CHOOSE TO FOCUS ON HEALTHY FAMILIES

As a root cause for poverty, we knew we had to focus on building healthy families if we wanted to help individuals flourish—and strengthen our communities and state.

A father’s impact cannot be understated

The reason that this is so important is because it speaks volumes about the man when he can still impact his daughter even when she is older. I suppose that remembrance can go both ways: While my dad has a positive impact on me, other women are living out the consequences of their dad not being present in their life. Research tells us that father-absent girls display a host of outcomes including increased sexual promiscuity, higher rates of teen pregnancy, and unhealthy relationships.

As we move into another year of celebrating fathers it is always great to remember the value a healthy relationship with your father can bring. While we know not all people have access to a father like I had, it is still something we can and should strive for. The stability and value of fathers is why we have a day to recognize them. We celebrate the role because we recognize the significance  of it.

This is just another reason why I love working at the Georgia Center for Opportunity. We help those who do not have that foundation. We have workshops that help to give you a baseline of what is really important in life. You can reach us across all social media and maybe you would like to go one step further and let us know how your dad is still influencing your life.  I would love to hear about him! 

 

Reflections of a Newlywed

Reflections of a Newlywed

Reflections of a Newlywed

Joyce and Harold Update

Reflections of a Newlywed: Lessons Learned From One Year Of Marriage

A little more than a year ago you all reached out to my husband, Harold, and me on our exciting new journey as a married couple. We are so grateful for all of the wisdom that you shared with us.

Since we have been married a year now, and as an ode to National Marriage Week, I thought you may be wondering how we are doing.  We are doing great! 

Here are just a few of the nuggets of wisdom  passed onto us, which we really relied on this first year:

  • Overcome stressors in your marriage by making your marriage a priority
  • Never criticize your marriage in public and keep your marriage off of social media 
  • Be intentional about serving in your marriage
  • Pray together
  • Never end an apology with “but”
  • Life is going to happen no matter what’s going on, so share these things with your partner.

“We are bringing you along with in a new life together. And, we’re going to be learning along the way.”  

 

The gift of this advice was timely and helped us overcome unforeseen challenges that arrived after the wedding.

I have only shared this with a small group of people, however, shortly after we were married, Harold suffered a stroke. It was traumatic for us both. I thought to myself, “we just got together, Lord please don’t take him from me.”  We had a tough hill to climb, but we were both strong mentally and we leaned on each other to get through it.  Now that Harold is a lot better, he said  he drew his strength from us, and we both realized it made us stronger.

What did we learn from all of this: 

1) We learned that mental support is needed just as much as medical support.  It’s like a diet without exercise.. 

2) We learned well-being as a couple is also just as important as it is for individuals.  

3) We also learned that community and a social network helps you get through it all.

Our community provided us with strong advice and principles which we continue to integrate into our marriage. We talk a lot about community at Georgia Center for Opportunity, which is why we think it is important for you to experience community in our Family Life Education classes. In these classes we equip and empower you with the knowledge and skills that help you to become resilient.

As Harold and I continue our marital journey, we hope these words of wisdom will help improve the quality of all of your relationships. For those looking for a little extra nudge, The Family Life Classes are available along with our Healthy@Home, and Thriving Together series on our website.

 

Boundaries Define Us

Boundaries Define Us

 

 

Boundaries Define Us 

 

By Joyce Mayberry

 

 

 

“Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where I end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership. Knowing what I am to own and take responsibility for gives me freedom.”

Dr. Henry Cloud

Merriam Webster defines boundary in this way:

  • Something that indicates or fixes a limit or extent.
  • A line that marks the limits of an area, a dividing line.

 

When we talk about boundaries, we talk about restrictions and not necessarily freedom. There are several types of boundaries: mental, physical, and emotional. What type of boundaries do you have in your life? I think of obeying the law. Most recently, I think of COVID-19 and I think of social distancing. I just got married, so another boundary is being faithful to my spouse.

 

Let’s look at what’s going on today. The first thing that comes to my mind is the tragic death of George Floyd. In this case I would think that the four officers lost sight of their emotional and personal boundaries. What about the boundaries of COVID-19? Do you feel that the coronavirus is creating stress? You may need to create mental boundaries that help to give you freedom from listening to all the news. 

 

Are there areas in your life where things are in disarray? If there are, then you most likely do not have boundaries in that area. At the Georgia Center for Opportunity, in the impact area of Family Formation, we see regularly where people refuse to set clear boundaries. It’s important as we work to strengthen families and to see individuals flourish that we all seek to acknowledge when this does not happen. The Healthy Families Initiative has relationship education classes to help you to begin to experience that freedom that Dr. Henry Cloud talks about. Until you sign up for a class, here are some quick strategies that will help you to begin setting healthy boundaries:

 

  1. Know your value. Be clear about knowing who you are and where you stand.
  2. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Have your words speak for you!
  3. Trust yourself and have the courage to say no.

 

As Dr. Henry Cloud says, setting boundaries is key to knowing where you end and someone else begins, and it allows you take ownership. Individually, we each can begin to take responsibility for what happens in our state, community, and families.

 

You Don’t Have To Be African American In Order To Appreciate Black History Month!

You Don’t Have To Be African American In Order To Appreciate Black History Month!

You Don’t Have To Be African American In Order To Appreciate Black History Month!

As I reflect on Black History Month, I remember when I first started working at the Georgia Center for Opportunity (GCO). Randy Hicks, GCO President and CEO, and I entered into a discussion about African American families. In reality, it should be called more of an awakening than a discussion.  

When one group does not succeed, it affects us all.

Randy spoke for several minutes on some of the experiences African American families were having within Georgia and across the country. For instance, the rate at which black people were getting married was drastically dropping while the number of single African-American parents was at an all-time high.  He asked me if I was aware of this plight within the black community and I said no. I remember asking him why did HE know so much about this group of people when he was so clearly not one of them, and his response was stunning.  He said, “It is important that ALL people flourish.”

When one group does not succeed, it affects us all. To this day, I am still amazed by that conversation, especially because I wasn’t aware of the horrifying statistics affecting my neighbors. After all my parents raised my sisters and me to know about Black History.

I had no knowledge about the state of African-American Marriages or the incredibly high out of wedlock birthrate.  As part of my work, I attended The African American Healthy Marriage Initiative conferences and I began to learn more.  This education has not only shaped my work but shaped my life in how I think and care for others.

Today, my life is devoted to helping relationships (of all kinds) be healthy and strong. If I’m not doing something to solve the problems, I am part of the problem. As Black History has taught us, it’s through strong individuals and communities coming together that we all become one and see success.

I am very thankful for my conversation with Randy almost 15 years ago.

About The Author

Joyce Mayberry

Joyce Mayberry

VP of Family Formation

As VP of Family Formation at the Georgia Center for Opportunity, Joyce works in the community to build strong families through local collaboration, event planning, and outreach.